We all carry assumptions that can limit ourselves at work and in our relationships. In the personal story I shared in my previous blog post, the underlying assumption was, “As a leader, I am supposed to have all the answers.” I have worked with a number of other leaders who also operated under this assumption. Once they identified it, challenged it, and started focusing more on asking the right questions as opposed to having all the answers, it was like a huge weight was lifted for them. A very powerful “aha” moment that helped them become more effective in leading their teams and organizations.
One thing I love about coaching process is how it can uncover assumptions that limit ourselves. In the context of receiving my Hogan assessment feedback, I shared with my coach that I was retiring from the military in a couple of years and was not sure what I wanted to do next. I stated matter-of-factly that I knew I did not want to start my own business because it would be too hard. I will never forget her response: “I’m going to stop you right there. It’s not as hard as you think it is.” I made a mental note of what she said and we proceeded with the rest of the session. But her feedback stuck with me afterwards. And now, here I am, running my own business.
Aside from engaging in conversations with other people, experiences themselves can help us challenge underlying assumptions. I always believed I would never want to work from home. When the pandemic hit, I was forced to telework for a bit. I soon found myself tolerating (and even enjoying!) telework. And I largely work from home by choice today. Occasionally I encounter people who insist they do not want to work remotely, but have never actually teleworked. Don’t get me wrong – working from home is not for everyone. I know plenty of people who tried teleworking and soon afterwards found themselves begging their bosses to allow them to return to the office. The point is, sometimes it takes experiencing something to see if you actually like it or not.
How might you test or challenge an assumption that might be limiting you?